It’s my “minggu cuti khas” for the raya. I went home today in what I would call a down-on-luck adventure. Quite an extraordinary adventure for me because such events rarely happen to me.

It all began yesterday. I was so engross in leveling up my MMORPG character that I refused to pack up until I get to lvl37. Sounds like a low lvl, but in Rohan Online, it takes freaking hours to up 1 lvl. So the moment I achieve my target, the feeling is like I want to go shout around the house “YES!!!!! I LVL up!!!”. Of course I didn’t make a fool out of myself , and by that time, it’s already midnight. The reason I want to lvl up so fast is I couldn’t play in the house (house use dial-up) and I don’t want my housemates to overtake me by a lot of lvls (I’m the party tanker so must not drag down our party).

After that, I went for supper with my housemates and coursemates. Returned about 1 hour later and I realized: SHIT!!!!!! I HAVEN’T PACK MY STUFF!!!! So immediately go into a packing frenzy. Slept around 2am.

I woke up before 9am. I left house around half an hour later. Usually I would have checked if I had left anything but the lack of normal sleep must have drowned my senses( for me, 7 hours of sleep is not enough for a day =P). Ended up going home without hp charger and watch. So my hp will be off most of the time, don’t expect me to reply sms.

While on the highway, I got hungry. Stopped at a rest station and have breakfast in the car. The milo ais bungkus is by-far the biggest I’ve seen( even I couldn’t finish it).

After paying toll, I took the wrong exit because there’s no sign board. The roads have been recently renovated and most sign boards are still not in place yet. I was driving along the road to Chemor/ Jelapang when I realized: Hei, I’ve never use this road before, something is very wrong here. So u-turned a some distance away.

By the time I reached home, I realized I DIDN’T BRING MY HOUSE KEY WITH ME!!! Luckily my mom is in, otherwise I’ll be a “beggar” in front of my own house. Normally such things won’t happen to me. I’m the cautious type and I always check my stuffs 2,3 times before leaving. This time is really……….

Have u ever have that feeling of forget about everything else and just do something? No cause, no consequences? Just like NIKE moto “just do it”. It happened to me this morning, why i don’t know. More like a spontaneous impulse response i guess.

I woke up at 8.30am this morning just every weekend days. Once i woke up, i swept my room floor (i haven’t swept it for…i don’t know, 2 weeks? =P). After that suddenly remembered that my car is hungry, so hop into the car to refuel it. Rather than go the station 5 mins away, i went to the 1 20mins away in Jawi. Why? I don’t know. While was driving around, the weather coupled with the radio songs, i just felt so good, a sense of satisfaction that i can’t explain.

After that, felt a bit hungry. Rather than head home to eat biscuits and malt, i drive to a mamak stall and eat roti canai. The whole time until that moment have been smooth sailing. The fellow gave me curry instead of my favourite sambal and dhal with the roti canai. Suddenly my mood is like a crashing mirror. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After that i went back, the best thing is no one is awake yet. Even X-w!Ng who usually woke up around like my time is not up yet. It’s as though i own the house at that moment, it just felt so great, so rejuvenating. Again don’t ask why, i don’t know.

Hypothesis: may b i’ve been playing MMORPG for too excessively for the pass 3 days. My eyes is like rolling around after 3 hours, yet my housemates seem oblivious to it. Kind of felt longing to see some live back in myself i guess…..To be me again, to be alone and with peace…..

Most of the time, me and my housemates will b talking crap in the house. Sometimes we even used messenger to comunicate. I’m too lazy to get out of my room.So i decided to make fun of ourselves by posting this kind of stupid nuts.

The following messenger conversation take place around 6pm.

leong jou eng: ei, r u downloading?
X-w!Ng: no wor
X-w!Ng: vy laggy right ?
leong jou eng: yeap
X-w!Ng: i think certain website got prob
X-w!Ng: taiwan earthquake again
leong jou eng: ya meh
leong jou eng: when?
X-w!Ng: if not mistaken
X-w!Ng: checking
leong jou eng: star oso cannot load…..
leong jou eng: tis morning
leong jou eng: 0743 GMT
X-w!Ng: haiz
leong jou eng: no damage reported wor
X-w!Ng: not sure whether the underwater cable is affected
leong jou eng: u go dive hav a look lah, wait wat wor
leong jou eng: quick quick
leong jou eng: go
X-w!Ng: i wing lai de
X-w!Ng: not submarine
X-w!Ng: haha
leong jou eng: go drop equipment loh, zhuralev just teach 2day
X-w!Ng: ok
X-w!Ng: dropping
X-w!Ng: need 2 days for anlysing
leong jou eng: …….

Just to make some sense for those who don’t understand. We had a very laggy connection today. So i ask my housemates if they are excessively downloading or not.  We have a lecturer named Proffesor Zhuravlev, a Russian who is teaaching us aircraft subsystem this sem. He happened to teach us about military aircraft today. One of it is a submarine detecting aircraft.

I started reading a manga online few months ago. It was new, i only finish reading it today. The title is "Bitter Virgin". You can read it for free at this website: http://www.onemanga.com/. Like the name suggested it is a very very tragic story. I nearly cried reading some part of the manga. It kind of stick to my mind so badly that i can’t even sleep right now. It make me think of a lot of things in life.

The story is about a guy, Daisuke who found out a terrible secret about his female classmate, Hinako. When Hinako was in junior high, she was repeatedly raped by her step father, got pregnant and had an abortion. However, her mother refused to believe her, and she got pregnant again. This time, she wouldn’t be able to give birth again in the future due to her injuries. She persevered and managed to give birth to a boy. However, the child was given for adoption. She never had the chance to see her son.

"They say things like when you fall in love, you see the world in a rose colour, those are huge lies"

After the incident, Hinako is very afraid of men. Daisuke started to help Hinako and saved her a few times. As the story progress, they started falling in love to each other. But due to some reasons, they can’t admit it and be together(read it yourself if you want to find out).

"If this is god’s idea of prank,then he’s incompetent, bumbling and malicious. I will not forgive him. I can not forgive him. I know no way to forgive him. You should just die, god…."

In book 3, Daisuke’s sister came into the story. She gave birth to a child. Something happened. Just as everything was starting to turn good, things like this just have to happen. The first time i read this part, my eyes are filled with tears. From the quote above, u noe it’s something very bad, but i don’t want to be spoilers, not telling. Luckily my housemates were not in due to the holidays. Otherwise, they’ll probably be laughing like mad. Laugh if u want, i may appear to be the agrresive and cruel type. But the truth is i’m not. I’m emotional and fragile. That explains my mood swings.

"Please help her. The one who needs you the most isn’t me…It’s her"

In the final book 4, things got complicated. So Hinako, uttered her secret accidently to Daisuke’s sister.Daisuke admitted to Hinako he knew her secret. She couldn’t take the fact and decided to transfer to another school. However, this time finally the story took another turn. I like the ending, uncertainties and challenges of the future that awaits them…..

The story of this manga may not be real. But such event are happening around the world. Those kind of man, no, THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE CALLED MAN. They are an insult to other guys, scums that don’t deserve any category on Earth. Well, i may not call myself a good man(i have dark and twisted thoughts before), but to do such a thing is beyond my sanity to have a grip on it. Yes, i thought of bad things, i’m a guy after all. But come to realise,i can’t do it. I can’t imagine if i’m in such a situation, what will i do?

 Today I started investing in unit trust funds. This is also
the first time I invested such a large sum of money one shot. Should anything
bad happen that’s the end of me. You’ll see me in the newspaper hanging from
the ceiling fan. Ok, I exaggerated. It’s
not that bad, I still have some reserves. But to lose such a big amount of money
(more than half of what I have accumulated so far in my life) is seriously
painful. It’s not that I’ve never invested and lose, just that this time the amount
is like a mountain compared to my previous ones.

However, I did not invest blindly without doing my own
research first. I have surveyed the world market and calculated my own
expenditures before consulting my banker. Some of you may say with so many
disasters and economic problems happening around the world, why the hell do you
still do investment? Here are my reasons:

1)              World market going down – when market goes up, I’ll
earn a lot. Apart from that, with major world events such as EURO and Olympic
coming up, we (the banker and i) are sure the market will gain a boost.

2)             Disasters – I look at the disasters as a minor
setback. Myanmar is one of the major exporters of rice. If the political
situation in Myanmar continues, the price of rice will shoot up like a rocket
within a few months.

3)             Myself – I calculated I have enough to cover for
my expenses for another 2 years. That should be enough to cover my university education
provided I can get a job within a few months after graduation.

4)             Unit trust – Unit trust investment is relatively
low in risk compared to us blindly buying shares in the stock market. I know my
money is in the hands of professionals and experts of this field. Of course
there is no guarantee but at least they will minimize the risks to the minimum.

5)             Saving – Saving in the bank is for the cavemen.
At this age with the inflation and price of commodities rising like mad, the interests
in the bank is not enough to cover the expenses. Most bank offer interests
around 3-4 %, I’ll let you do the maths yourself. The only way to overcome this
problem is to earn more than the inflation rate and the best way to do it is
invest.

I know I’m no expert in this matter. I’m an engineering
student not economic student. But I do know simple logic of life:The value of
money is depreciating. I’ve decided to improve myself in this field for this sem
holiday. Therefore I hope everyone that read this blog will give comments on
this matter. Let us learn and discuss together on how to earn more money.

25 April 2008. At long last, I’m finally sitting in my room, enjoying the solitude confinement of my OWN room. For 1 long month, I do not know what I’ve been doing, living life as tough it’s just a dream. I just finish my last paper yesterday but I can hardly remember what happened, it’s like just awakening from a sleep, not knowing what I dream of.  I’m lost, lost between fantasy and reality. Every day that pass is another day that makes me wonder: Why do I live? Do I really fit into this world?

I’m just an eccentric guy, trying to get the respect and recognition that I deserve. Even though I’m surrounded by people, there are very few that I can call true friend.   People will come to me when they needed my help and disappear when I’m not needed.  It’s so frustrating to help someone out only to be denied the recognition you deserve. While this is just not a matter of friends, I’m wondering why I am leaving in this world. It feels like I don’t fit in. I know I have talents but to not have a chance to prove myself, to show my true abilities is like a nightmare.

I’ve always believed in past life. I imagined myself as a great leader in my previous life, defeating enemies in the battle field and bringing peace and prosperity to my people, wise at peace, ferocious in battle. That is why I’m so interested in warfare, leadership and management in this life. I defeat greater civilizations, implement economic policies, respected by my people. Sounds like a stupid reason but I believed. I’m ambitious, I know that. It’s not wealth that I’m after; all of my true friends know that money means little to me. I just wanted to leave my name in history before I go, to be respected for my achievements until the end of the world. Not much of a chance in this reality.

It’s been a tough 3 weeks for me. the final exam of my third semester had not been easy on me. I was ill prepared for it, with sickness and family matters bothering me. Even i myself did not think i can get by this time.

The last paper is my worst nightmare i must say. I woke up with my stomach churning and worst still i can’t shit and vomit out. Imagine the feeling of trapped, unable to get out yet screaming and struggling to get out. That is what happen to my stomach. I went to exam this morning partially unconscious. With great determination and perseverance, i cling on to whatever that’s left of my sanity. I soldiered on. I fought with whatever last physical strength i still possess. After what seem like an eternity, i emerged out of the hall in one piece, but barely. I finished my exam, but at a great cost. Even as i type this blog now, my course mates are celebrating in a buffet dinner while i rot in my room, with a hurricane in my stomach. If i’m given another chance, will i still make the same decision? I’ve no doubt that i will fought on, after all that is who i am. A die hard survivor, never giving up till the last breath.

But i’m grateful that i have housemates. If not for them, the past 3 weeks will not be difficult. Without them, it will be worst, disaster. I sincerely thank all of them for making my life easier especially the 3 in the master bedroom.(u know who u are, my heroes who have guided and fought along side me) Their knowledge and wisdom have save me from further annihilation. Till we met again in the next semester, new trial and challenges awaits!!!! Till then, Thank you!!!!!!

Now i must face this demon myself, i’ll not let you control me. I’m in control of myself. I’ll recover quickly, i’ll watch beowulf on thursday and eat McD. And u will not bother me further by then. FOR I AM LEONG JOU ENG!!!

1 week. The past 1 week is like a dream to me, some sort of extraordinary journey of life. In just 1 week, i had slept in 7 different beds, all with different experience.

I returned home more than 1 week ago(of course i slept on my own bed).

On last Monday, I went to Cameron Highland with my family for 3 days. The purpose of this trip is to learn and and incorporate the various farming technologies and skills into my fathers farm. The trip is very productive in this manner, but not on our health. On the 2nd night, i got sick and vomited badly. I laid at the Cameron Highland Hospital’s emergency ward for an injection. (3 beds already)

Things turned out worse for me the next day, and i went back to a hospital in Ipoh(4th bed now). I was badly dehydrated for the 1st day, and was asleep most of the time. The next day, when i was better, i started thinking back on the farm, maybe a  profession as a farmer isn’t that bad after all. On the same day this evening, it was my mother’s turn. She "checked in" in a different room near me and my father requested that i be transfered to her room(5th bed).

On Saturday, we were allowed to checked out but it was my father and auntie’s turn. My father only had a stomach ache but my auntie vomited. Luckily an injection is enough to keep her away from the ward. And since my auntie is staying with us for a few days after the Cameron trip, she slept in my room and i had to sleep with my parents in the master bedroom(6th bed!!!)

And today, i returned back to the campus(7th bed) for my exam only to found out that i left my watch in the house!!! It seems that i have to bring my clock into the exam hall.

I found a very interesting Friendster bulletin and decided to post it here. I placed my comments in brackets. Enjoy and leave comments loh….Gals, please shoot back and guys, i hope u r defending tis. And to 1 person who will be reading tis, pay heed to my comments (crap, this is the end of me…….)

At last a guy has taken the
time to
write this all down. Finally, the guys’
side of the story. (I must admit, it’s
pretty good). We always hear "the
rules"
from the female point of view… Now
here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note… these are all numbered
"1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.(Duhhh……)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We
need it up, you need it down. You don’t
hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.(common sense lah)

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full
moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we
are never going to think of it that
way.(why not? it’s the trolley pushing competition!!!)

1. Crying is blackmail.(I strongly agree on this)

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be
clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not work! Just say it!(especially on blur people like me ^_^)

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable
answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If
you want help solving it. That’s what we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.(otherwise piss off!!!)

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a problem. See a doctor.(it’s brain cancer, i guess)

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after
7 Days. (i won’t remember even if it’s 2 days ago )

1. If you won’t dress like the
Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect
us to act like soap opera guys.(i dress up as i like and who on EARTH do you think you are to interfere?)

1. If you think you’re fat, you
probably are. Don’t ask us.(don’t ever ask such a question to me)

1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one.(especially what i say, it’s always just a joke)

1. You can either ask us to do
something or tell us how you want it done. Not
both. If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say
whatever you have to say during
commercials. (for me,that applies to action and war movies)

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need
directions and neither do we. (not me, if u don’t tell me where to go when i’m driving, see u in hospital ward )

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.(i see 16 colors, but can only differentiate 8,wuahahaha…….!!!!!!)

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," We will act like nothing’s
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.(please don’t play such game with me, it tortures me)

1. If you ask a question you don’t want
an answer to, Expect an answer you
don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear Is
fine…Really.(as long as it’s decent)

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking
about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or golf. (for me, warfare)

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I
know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight;(not tonight, but very soon…..)

But did you know men really don’t mind
that? It’s like camping.(i care!!!that’s my bed you are sleeping on,sucker!!!!)

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.

17th September 2007. A day which put our unity to the test. Once again our friendship and loyalty are being tested by the indiscriminate test of aerodynamics.

Today i witness what we humans are capable of. Yes, we humans are greedy. Yes, we humans are selfish. Yet in the face of extinction, we humans are the only race on Earth that are capable of surviving. This is the time when we put aside our differences and bind together for survival.

After barely surviving the same test last week, we realize the ultimate task before us. This is a do or die mission. Together we unite, combining our unique abilities to counter a common nemesis. Together we achieved what no one man could do alone. Despite the limited time, we persevered.

Despite failing to finish it completely, this is a most memorable test of faith for me. If we humans always keep to this motto, nothing is impossible. After all, we are just ordinary humans, who will do extraordinary things, in extraordinary times.